How Many Social Media Friends Do You Have?

Do you have lots of friends on social media? Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok? As one sophomore recently confessed to me, he only has 600 friends. 600 friends?!! Well, that’s not a friend group that’s an army battalion (300 to 1,200) and some of you probably have numbers as big as a military brigade (3,200 to 5,500)!

Now let’s think about this, do you have 600 friends, or 600 “friends”? These numbers are popularity metadata, fodder for the ad agencies, avatars on your wall. Are these people really friends?

Flashing hundreds of faces, uploading endless photo stream is promoting your media profile, and not (in my well-researched book) friendship. A barrage of dog images, cat virals, trendy food shots running down your wall is a lot of laughs and often very entertaining; it’s as if you’ve got your own private media network which is fun to explore, but… friendship?

In a modern irony, social media is really not social anymore, it’s who has the most time to upload pics and copy famous sayings as if you own them. When you post a famous person’s well-thought out quote, what are you really communicating? Except maybe, you’re a plagiarist or taking a shortcut.

Yeah, yeah you find something you really want to share. But prior to social media, I honestly don’t remember the impulse to go up to a friend and quote—“True friends stab you in the front”–Oscar Wilde; or, “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence” – George Washington.

If I did, my friends would’ve offered to buy me a stiff drink, with no ice.

You probably love to share your ideas and life’s stories with your close friends. If you’re smart you won’t display how you really feel, your angst, fear, crushes on your social media. Trust me, I’m probably older than some of you and I kiss the ground that there wasn’t social media when I was a teenager.
However, favorite celebrities, fun recipes, gorgeous photographs (don’t forget the attribution) – to make each other’s viewing pleasure more fun or a little tastier is the upside of posting or downloading. You’re defining a persona for your viewers.

Don’t get me wrong, I love checking out cool images, and love getting comments back. That’s the fun part of social media… it’s a network of like-minded people.

But real friends know your confidences; those parts of you that you don’t share on social media. And if someone does inappropriately post something harmful or thoughtless, go off-line and let them know how they’ve just stepped over the social media line, your “network of trust.”

Make clear and conscious decisions about your friends, rather than thinking “you’ll do,” “you like me, so I guess I like you.” As friends have a huge influence on your well-being, choose wisely.

Friends are strangers who you discover inspire you to collaborate, share and love. Someone you meet briefly outside a bathroom at a club probably won’t end up adding a lot of value to your life. Even if they look cool on your social media page.

What you’re looking for is real friend value. And while everyone’s valuable and special in this world, not everyone can be an amazing friend to you. So, find those wonderful people who truly share your purpose.

Remember… a great friend starts with you!